How to Say Hi… and Have Them Say Hi Back
You’re new at school and don’t know anyone.
You’ve got a crush on the guy who sits next to you in math .. . But you’ve never said one word to him.
That girl in your youth group has Friend Potential.
Great things can start with one simple word: hi.
That seems like it should be easy, right? But I know. I know. It’s not. Just opening your mouth to say that one word can make you a nervous wreck, make you worry that you’ll look dumb, make you afraid they are going to look at you and laugh in your face or something.
Susan Haworth produced a radio feature called PowerTalk, where she interviewed all kinds of people about what makes them feel comfortable talking to other people.
“It doesn’t matter how old you are,” she says. “Approaching someone you don’t know can be intimidating.” Here’s what Susan suggests you do to increase your chances for the best response:
Approach the person when he or she is alone. Here’s why this is important:
First of all, if someone is standing or seated by oneself, that person is usually very grateful to have someone with whom to talk. And probably happy not to have to make the first move.
Second, you never know what you may be interrupting when you approach two or more people talking; it could be a private conversation.
Finally, groups do strange things to people. Sometimes people feel as though they have to react a certain way in front of others—for example, show they are cool, and you’re not. Get a person away from a crowd and chances are that individual will be more relaxed and receptive.
I’ve been told repeatedly, the absolute best way to break the ice for social purposes is a genuine compliment such as:
• “I really like your sweater.”
• “That’s a great color on you.”
• “You gave a great speech.”
• “I like your haircut.”
Introduce yourself.
After the person says thanks (for the compliment), you can introduce yourself and maybe start up a conversation. Hard as it is to believe, almost everyone has a streak of shyness that prevents him or her from initiating a conversation with strangers.
When you’re the one who takes the first step, your future friend will be forever grateful, and you’ll feel more confident every time you do it. As the old saying goes: A stranger is just an unmet friend. Your very best friendships ever can start with that one word: hi.
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